General Blue's Big Gay Boatride
by Lovely Ostrich
Summary: This is just a bit of fun about General Blue discovering the world of homosexuality.
1. Default Chapter

Title: General Blue's Big gay Boatride

Author: Lovely Ostrich

Summary: Umm, I started this in the early hours of the morning, so just blame the G-Boys for being too loud! This is basically about General Blue discovering how great the world of homosexuality is by going on one of Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boatrides!

Rating: R

Note: This is just a harmless bit of fun… I wrote this simply because of the way he acts and how his campness radiates across the room when he appears on my TV screen! Please don't mail-bomb me with your views on homosexuality and how I seem to know nothing. I DO know a lot!

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Another beautiful day dawns upon the Dragonball world. People are waking, flowers opening and the sun is shining magnificently across the vast green land. Soon, people start leaving their small, humble abodes to start the journey to their day of hard work, smiles on their faces… Especiall on one person, who's *definitely* going to have a hard day!

Unable to pry his eyes off of his latest edition of "Fuck'n and Suck'n", a certain blonde General's eyelashes begin to flutter rapidly over his lust-filled optical receptors, desperately wishing that he could find that special someone who'd treat him like a queen – lavishing such sacred gifts as Lore'al upon him, as well as other essential beauty cosmetics that played such an important part in his beauty regime…

After delicately nibbling the last of his low-cal, honey smothered toast, he dabbed his lips tenderly with his special baby-blue diamonte napkin and grinned wickedly to himself.

"Splendid!" (Just think 'gay Warner Bros Gopher things') " I do hope I din't remove any of my new "Hardcore Whore" rouge lipstick. I don't think the people around here know how many hoe's I had to bitch-slap to get that…"

Pulling out a pink Barbie mirror in the shape of a loveheart, playing "It's raining Men" in a very catchy jingle with bright fairy lights twinkling, he went about his twelfth inspection of the day. He carefully scanned his smooth face for any blemishes that should ever dare to taint his baby-soft sculpture of perfection.

"Ah! Perfect! As only I should be in this world of ageing!" *strikes a pose*

Giggling lightly, he skipped daintily out of his as-of-now loveless love shack. (Ok, for the benefit of Starkiller, he nanced -_______________-;;;;;;;) complete with three new 'hard whack' mags with him just incase he couldn't contain himself throughout the day…

As he nanced his way down the street, no-one paid the slightest bit of attention to the strange, uniformed vision of camp before them just incase he accused them of looking at him and started coming onto them… (Although it is quite difficult to ignore an obviously gay guy nancing down the street with three issues of "The Shaft" under his arm, featuring a sailor having fun with several electrical silicone accessories in a wide variety of poses)

His eyes widened as he neared his destination. Giving an ultimate girlie shriek, he ran upto it and planted his newly "Hardcore Whored" lips firmly to the glass. Looking up, a flashing red sign with the words "Find a Fuck" greeted him, and his lustrous blue orbs sparkled in sheer delight…

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Well, that's all I've written for now. Tell me what you think so far, so I know whether it's worth going on with or not! Thank you, Ja ne, Li-Chan


	2. GB2

Me: OOOH! Second chapter is here

Heero: What the hell is the point in this fic Li-Chan… You're hurting Duo's feelings… You know how much Big gay Al's helped me and Duo, and now you go and do _this_ to us?!? *cocks gun*

Me: *snigger* 

Heero: What you gonna do Li?

Me: *crosses fingers* EEP! I'll be good…. O.o

Chapter two

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Sighing, he picked himself up and dusted off his freshly pressed khaki pants to remove any dirt that had collected on them. Giving one final glance at the enticing sign, he crossed his nimble, thin fingers and pushed the door open: the little bell tinkling melodiously to signal his arrival.

"Ooooooh!" Who's that I hear twiddling with my knob? You'd better be careful… I've just finished polishing it, so watch your hand doesn't get all sticky…"

General Blue wiped the bead of sweat from his powdered forehead and gained the courage to look in the direction of the lisping, high-pitched voice that had said so few words, but said so much about them.

Coming out of the doorway across from the slightly bewildered General, appeared a small overweight gentleman wearing fawn pants, a pink cardigan with a variety of shapes and colours, a light blue neckerchief and sporting a cigarette in his right hand.

"Well hello there li'l fella. I'm big gay Al… What's your name? I *do* hope I can heed your plight. We're all big gay friends here… Now, what can I do you for friend?

Big Gay Al patted the diamonde encrusted black leather sofa in the offer of a seat to the blonde military man.

"Seat your rear here my good man… Now, would you like some toasted cheese sandwiches?"

General blue sat down carefully and crossed his legs before turning to face the small, plump man who he had turned to for help.

"Uhh, no thanks. Gotta watch the figure y'know… My name is, well, you can just call me General… And I was kinda hoping you could fix me up with someone - tonight if possible. I need relief…I've not been intimate with another person since…."

The blonde shifted nervously and burst into tears, collapsing into Big Gay Al's big strong arms at the thought of mentioning his past…

"Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhh! Cereo!!!!! (The pink haired guy from Tenchi Muyo who Ayeka was being forced to marry. One ULTIMATE pretty boy…) Why'd you lie to me?!? Why did you have to feed me full-fat instead of skimmed?!?!?"

"Uhh???" Big Gay Al was speechless at this statement, but tried to offer a solution anyway.

"Well li'l fella, I don't think you'll be set up _quite_ as soon as that… It takes a lot for a relationship to work… You're on the rebound, so a straight off fucking session will do you no good dearie. I don't want clients like you screwing people senseless on the first night. Maybe the second or third if they've been good boys."

Sounding extremely disappointed, the General stood up and turned swiftly to face Big Gay Al, a trail of shimmering glitter flying from his body. Placing his hands firmly on his hips, the tremor was all to evident in his voice as he spoke.

"Alrighty then… What do I do? I want love! I want a life! I want fat free milk in my Froot Loops!" cried the General, striking a suitably angered pose that involved him throwing his clenched fingers out infront of him while using the other hand to hold his head.

The corners of his large, spherical vision-slaves began to gather more unshed tears, the topaz orbs shimmering as he pouted and clenched his hands tightly, trying in his anger not to imagine a young supple male attached to either of them. "Follow me to the preparation area… We can't just let you dive straight in can we now?!?"

With these words, both men disappeared into the large dim-lit room that Big Gay Al had originally popped out from.

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Heero: I though you were going to be good Li-chan?

Me: I have been good! And if *you* don't behave, there'll be no yaoi and no baked goods later on! *smirk*

Heero: But… *grumble*

Me: Did you say something Hee-Chan? I thought I heard a mumble fall from your silken lips there…

Heero: NO!!! *looks scared at the prospect of no porn or treats*

This is the end of the second chapter… I *promise* it will get better - I just need to get it off to a slow start and build it up.

NEXT CHAPTER : Photo shoot!

"I'm getting a mention! Watch carefully… MENTION! That was for the credit I take for doing stuff to this, and I be Darth Funk (Kajika)…! Bwahahahahaha! 


End file.
